WHAT I REALLY WOULD LIKE TO TEACH GIRLS IN MENTOR PROGRAMS

Here is a short list of things that I wish young girls knew that I think would save them a lot of pain. Perhaps then they will never have to cry on the shoulder of a guy who is chronically "just a friend" like I was (until I learned a few tricks from brothers on the so-called dark side of the force), whom they end up dating anyway. Then again, how ELSE would the passive guys get a break?????

Self esteem is great and all, but remember:

• You can't change him. If he's a bastard today, he'll probably be a bastard tomorrow. The only things I've seen change a man is a TRUE sense of remorse for a wrong committed, a near death experience, or a religious experience (as in finding Jesus, or whatever manifestation of God you believe in.) If a guy is really sorry, then he probably wasn't all that bad in the first place. HE has to want to change, it cannot be forced on him.
• All men are not dogs. But, every man does have a little bit of a puppy in him. I'm not saying don't trust him, I'm saying don't leave him in a room drunk, high, and alone with a promiscuous woman who makes Tyra Banks look like that Fat Demon on Buffy The Vampire Slayer.
• If he hit you once, he'll hit you again. Either leave him, or make him get help, the FIRST time. (Or try the hot grits thing I mention in the "You Know You're A Ghetto Martial Artist If" article. Sike, I'm just kidding about the grits.)
• Take up a martial art or a REAL self defense course. Or, you can learn some of the ghetto tactics I mention under the Martial Arts section, under "You May Be A Ghetto Martial Artist If", and "You KNOW you're a Ghetto Martial Artist If", and "A Woman Will Kick Your....". No man can build up muscle to protect his eyes, nose, throat, groin, top of the foot, or diaphragm.
• Study. Study some more, and study again. That is why you are in school.
• Don't sell yourself short. You don't have to be really picky, but a little bit of standards now will pay off after you have his children.
• Pay attention to how he treats his mother, his sisters, his grandmother, and other women in his life.
• If he cheated on his last girl to be with you, he will cheat on you to be with his next girl.
• You are not a fixer-upper project. He does NOT need to make you over in order for you to be presentable. While none of us are perfect, and we all have room for growth, a guy who comes into a relationship right away and wants to change everything about you is probably just an insecure control freak.
• He can wait. Make him wait. It's good for him, and it will make him respect you. If he can't wait, then he's not worth waiting for. Period.
• A guy who's got two other women pregnant is probably not good father or husband material.
• Just because he fathered your children doesn't mean he will feel as though he should take care of them. If so, then women across the country wouldn't have to conduct a manhunt to get their "baby daddy" to pay child support. The key is NOT to pick this kind of a moron in the first place.
• You don't NEED a man to make you complete. You are OKAY by yourself. It's just nice to have a companion you know you can lean on after you become a mature, adult woman. Some people actually do manage to make a marriage work.
• There are men out there who fear a strong intelligent woman. Please do not allow them to reproduce and pass on their cowardly genetic material.
• Girls can be just as good at technical subjects as boys can. There are a lot of female lawyers, doctors, accountants, computer people, and other professionals.
• There is nothing wrong with being a stay at home mother if that's what you CHOOSE to do. If it were not for mothers, NONE of us would be here. Motherhood is under-rated these days.
• Don't ever let a guy tell you that you are nothing. YOU ARE SOMEBODY. Believe in yourself, and you will go far. Don't waste time on a guy that puts you down all of the time.
• Pay attention to how he treats people he doesn't like. That way you know how he may treat you if he's upset.
• Sistah Souljah said it best: "If you all you got is his beeper number....If you ain't been to his house....If you ain't met his mama, THAT IS NOT YOUR MAN!"

I hope someone lets their young daughter or other relative read this list so that there will be a little less suffering out there in the world.

The Creative Brother

Weird, sad, but true none the less!!!!

CLICK HERE TO RETURN TO THE MAIN PAGE

CLICK HERE FOR MY WRITINGS

CLICK HERE FOR MY FAVORITE LINKS