The February issue of Ebony ran a cover article written by a sister called "Why I Married a White Man". She felt the need to discuss (or rather justify) her decision to marry a caucasian since other people (who should be busy worrying about their own marriages) viewed the union as controversial. Her basic argument is that she married him out of love and friendship, and that in the end she really does not care what the world thinks.
Let me be the first black man to say that I don't care if she marries a white, red, brown, yellow, purple, green, or fuschia man. And quite frankly, I don't know why other people care either. If she wants to get together with Ritchie Cunningham or Eminem, why should I stop her. More power to her! I have my own relationships to worry about instead of spending time wondering why a black woman I don't know ran off with a white man I have never met. Now if it were MY black woman running off with a white guy, well then I'd have a problem with it!
But since she put her business out there in the street, I'm going to write about her.
The question she NEEDS to ask herself is why did it take that joker over 25 years to marry her. That's right boys and girls, 25 YEARS.
Racism my a--; you can't tell me that the "social pressure" and dissaproval of his family is enough to keep a white guy from marrying whoever he wants to marry. As far as I know, no white man has ever been beaten, shot, castrated, or lynched for putting his penis in an African vagina. Ask Thomas Jefferson, he would have told you. I have studied the race situation in the United States academically, and I can tell you that the white male does not have to fear any severe loss when it comes to selecting a mate of a different color. True, there may be some people who comment, but there is no real physical or economic danger, particularly in the latter half of the twentieth century. So what if his family cuts him off; thanks to the Good Ole Boy Network, a middle aged white male baby boomer can get good job after good job to compensate for his lack of inheritance. Besides that, they BOTH were well off financially, and HER family, according to the article, is VERY supportive. What's the matter, the black side of the clan ain't good enough.
I know that interracial couples are persecuted, but come on! If someone loves you, particularly if you have his babies, should be able to put up with the garbage and love you none the less.
There are many other reasons why people may not like a particular union:
Besides that, homosexuals and lesbians--Two of The Most Persecuted People On Earth--are having marriages and commitment cerimonies. If they can do it, why can't a mixed couple?
I am well aware that there are a lot of people who get bent out of shape when they see a mixed couple. So does Ebony, which is why they ran the article in the first place. To put it simply, race sells. Racism, as Joe Madison put it when he did his radio talk show, is one of those hot topics that is guarrenteed to spark up a debate. It doesn't matter if none of these media vehicles EVER offers any realistic solutions to the problems. It doesn't matter that there is always something racial going on and very few people really do anything to stop it. All you have to do is talk about Oprah Winfrey marrying Tom Selleck or Mike Tyson marrying Lisa Kudrow and you will have a bunch of angry, race conscious people lamenting the union as they hand over their dollars in order to read about it.
I'd like to suggest a new title for her article: "Why in the HELL did I MARRY a WHITE Man AFTER 25 YEARS???" What the hell is up with this woman that she would wait around for some shmuck that long? They lived together, had kids together, yet couldn't get MARRIED? They both were even MARRIED TO OTHER PEOPLE during their 25 year hitch? They have to wait until the kids are GROWN before they tie the not? SAY WHAT??? She says that her love is color blind, but would she have waited around for a BLACK man that long? Are they both that weak that they would let what other people SAY keep them apart for all those years?
I tell you what they were afraid of: COMMITMENT. That's right, COMMITMENT, not racism. I think these two were just a couple of beatniks shacking up in the Land of Entertainment, who then finally decided, "What the hell, let's get married!!!" Either she or he or both of them had cold feet, or they are two of the lamest people I have ever read about. They both probably wanted to continue living the care-free life instead of buckling down to the reality of a steady family life. She admits that she wanted to "have it all...Perhaps that may have been part of the problem." She also comments on how a lot of friends told her husband that black women are too bossy, too argumentative, which in turn may have made him reluctant to tie the knot. Now she says he "loves" her "gorilla suit". I say BULL. I think that Mr. White Guy was acting like a lot of MEN of ALL RACES; he wasn't buying the milk because he had the cow for free! Ebonically speaking, I ain't playa hatin' on the white boy! She's not my sister, cousin, mother, grandmother, niece, aunt, friend or otherwise. If she wants to hang on to this guy for over two decades before she makes everything official, then she has a lot of other issues she needs to deal with besides race. One of them is COURAGE.
Perhaps it's a good thing they DID both get married so that some well meaning person from both of their races doesn't end up getting hurt by one of them.
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