The March 1999 issue of Blackbelt Magazine had an article from a writer warning karate guys to not underestimate the performance of a woman in a real fight. My initial reaction was "Bull. I'd put my money on a man in a real fight nine times out of ten!!" But then, even I had to remember the times I've seen that top 10% in action.
The first time was when I was 17 years old. A girl got drunk and freaked out on us at a party. It took 4 of us to take her down. She kicked one guy in the nuts, another guy in the stomach, and decked number three in the jaw, knocking them all down. I came in front of her and blocked what must have been a flurry of five or six kicks before I grabbed a leg and did an impromptu take down. You want to talk about girl power? The Spice Girls ain't got a thing on her!!
Another time was while I was at a cultural heritage parade in '91 (name of ethnic group will be withheld to prevent stereotyping, but no, they were NOT Black Americans). Two guys jumped another guy who was with his girlfriend. She handed her friend a purse and threw up her guard. A huge crowd formed so that I couldn't see the actual fight, but I did hear a lot of "Oh God", "Ahhh" and high pitched female cursing. When the crowd dissipated, one of the attackers was covered from head to toe with crimson claw marks. The woman, I kid you not, had not a hair out of place and was not breathing very hard. Let me tell you I have never heard so much laughter as I did after that!
A third story comes to me second hand. It was high school again. A female friend of mine called me up and told me her boyfriend hit her. "What?!" I yelled, "why I'll come up there and kick his butt!!" But before I could, she proceeded to tell me how she handed someone her purse (what's with the purse thing?), threw a left to the eye, right to the lip, a flurry all over his face, kicked him in the stomach, stomped him a couple of times and threw him under the school bus. "Well, where were some of the other guys, and the busdriver or the principal?" I asked. "Oh, they were too busy laughing." She also reported not having a hair out of place, but was mad because she scraped some paint off of one of her fingernails and was touching it up as we were speaking.
But these three stories aren't the only ones I've seen or heard. A drunk man got boxed so badly by his wife the cops took HIM to the hospital. Many ladies have led marriages where they beat up their alcoholic husbands on a monthly basis. A husband called a wife a bad name and ended up pinned face down on the bed. And all of these women in these stories are very feminine to boot!
So how is it that a lot of women end up battered at the hands of men?
Perhaps it's because that in most cases, men are bigger and stronger. Size and strength do count, so my nine out of ten odds may still hold true. I'm sure that socialization has something to do with it as well; many women probably think it's unladylike to fight, or just don't have that killer instinct it takes to rip a man's testicles from the rest of his body (yes, that has happened--the move from out of Pinan Sadan, for you TangSooDo practitioners.) Perhaps my victors had the element of surprise and are not afraid to strike first; it's often the person who hits first that wins the melee. Maybe if more women had that attitude less of them would be abused by cowardly men. And besides ladies, take some advice from the down home Southern Black Women: if you can't beat him, get him when he goes to sleep. (See my "You KNOW you're Ghetto If" article under the Martial Arts section, on how to use a pot o' hot grits as a weapon. I also hear that boiling water, hot water mixed with bleach, regular bleach to the eyes, or a shoe to the head works wonders also. Ask Al Green.)
Hats off to the ten percent of women warriors who ain't afraid of no man. You all get mad props from yours truly.
To end with a quote: "What? You think you can put your hands on ME? Here, Keisha, hold my purse!"----the last words a lot of men probably hear before they wake up in the emergency room surrounded by male doctors desperately trying to contain their laughter.
CLICK HERE TO RETURN TO THE MAIN PAGE